Revisiting The Bell Jar Again
Revisiting The Bell Jar again
It was almost the last leg of summer of 2008. The boredom, restlessness, unemployed status & balmy summer of course had reached pinnacle in my life. Online shopping had just began its baby steps in India and out of few websites back then Flipkart ruled the roost for buying books.
Somewhere, on internet, I had read few snippets of Sylvia plath’s poems, Her writings had intrigued me & it was an interesting fact to know, that she had written only one novel till date “the Bell Jar.” Needless to say, I ordered it from Flipkart. It was my first online purchase & I gingerly held the package when it arrived. Enthusiastically I showed it to my mom , who was busy shooing away the pigeons in the kitchen balcony. After 5 days, I had my exam but I knew this, I had to read this book. After mulling over my sparse savings & not regretting one single bit of first book purchase, I started reading.
As a reader I met Esther Greenwood, a successful student in New York, who along with 10 other girls are on a summer internship for a successful magazine. Esther befriends Doreen who thanks to her lover Lenny introduces Esther to a womanizer named Marco, who molests Esther. The New York experiences of her internship, fair weather friendships with her friends & her rare torrid interactions with men leaves her unhappy, directionless. Esther is right in thinking that she is not fit for the parties or the intense attractions of men. The only ray of hope in her dull life, is her awaiting selection in the writing course at Cambridge.
Her dull affair with Buddy Williard who also breaks her heart, when she comes to know that the seemingly “pureness” which Buddy is trying to keep it intact, is actually experienced in the carnal expressions of love. His statement of fact, jolts Esther where she finally decides to lose her virginity. The rare streak of adventure of losing virginity embarks her on a journey where she meets men, has disappointing experiences in intimacy and love & finally loses her virginity where clearly she is not surprised by the “mere act” . However, thankfully this is the not the focal point of the novel.
When I read the novel 10 years, I was however looking for this point, her sexual misadventures leading to a perfect man in the end. This was not a romantic novel. This is a tour inside Esther’s mind, where she plummets to depression and heavy suicidal tendencies.
I finished the book 10 years back, forgot the ending and moved on. 10 Years later, I picked it up again for #femmemarch because no lists of literature will ever be complete without Sylvia Plath. How right I was (for a change)! This time I took notes, highlighted, searched for meaning & I was so much soaked into it that I was moving into my personal blue zone. Esther arrives home, shedding her new York self only to find out that she is not selected for the writing course. Esther decides then to be a novelist, but her self-doubt about her less experiences in life stops her from writing a novel. Her life slowly crumbles down from a height to a zero centre, where she has reduced herself to nothing. An initial shock therapy treatment pushes further into deep, dark recesses of depression The novel is written a stark, honest way.
There are no embellishment of any words, no beautification app to glorify depression, it’s just the way it is. In an era where Mental illness was considered taboo, Sylvia Plath walks out of that cocoon to write a semi-autographical about herself. Its sad too, that mental illness is like a self destructing time bomb. It goes on building up the tension, an inward blank feeling where you don’t feel anything else, where you slowly lose yourself, go to a dark brooding place. Sylvia writes it all & breathes life into Esther Greenwood.
After one incident where Esther tries to take her life, her mother gets her admitted to a therapy hospital. She moves over here from a stage to a stage. From light to dark to light and back to darkness again of her mind, of her own closed world. She meets her friend Joan at the therapy center, where they spend some time together.
At the end, where Esther has recovered, she has a doubt what if depression swoops down again. What if she can never get out of the dark place. What if this is a temporary respite and her ultimate resting place is being trapped in her mind forever, in a bell jar. As a parting afterthought, I believe Esther Greenwood &Renata Adler’s protagonist in novel “Speedboat” would’ve been good friends.
This novel only should be read again after regular intervals, because it will hold different meaning at different stages in our lives. And this I believe is true for all books. We are all trapped in our personalized bell jars and we all strive to come out of it.
Excerpts from "The Bell Jar"
It was almost the last leg of summer of 2008. The boredom, restlessness, unemployed status & balmy summer of course had reached pinnacle in my life. Online shopping had just began its baby steps in India and out of few websites back then Flipkart ruled the roost for buying books.
Somewhere, on internet, I had read few snippets of Sylvia plath’s poems, Her writings had intrigued me & it was an interesting fact to know, that she had written only one novel till date “the Bell Jar.” Needless to say, I ordered it from Flipkart. It was my first online purchase & I gingerly held the package when it arrived. Enthusiastically I showed it to my mom , who was busy shooing away the pigeons in the kitchen balcony. After 5 days, I had my exam but I knew this, I had to read this book. After mulling over my sparse savings & not regretting one single bit of first book purchase, I started reading.
As a reader I met Esther Greenwood, a successful student in New York, who along with 10 other girls are on a summer internship for a successful magazine. Esther befriends Doreen who thanks to her lover Lenny introduces Esther to a womanizer named Marco, who molests Esther. The New York experiences of her internship, fair weather friendships with her friends & her rare torrid interactions with men leaves her unhappy, directionless. Esther is right in thinking that she is not fit for the parties or the intense attractions of men. The only ray of hope in her dull life, is her awaiting selection in the writing course at Cambridge.
Her dull affair with Buddy Williard who also breaks her heart, when she comes to know that the seemingly “pureness” which Buddy is trying to keep it intact, is actually experienced in the carnal expressions of love. His statement of fact, jolts Esther where she finally decides to lose her virginity. The rare streak of adventure of losing virginity embarks her on a journey where she meets men, has disappointing experiences in intimacy and love & finally loses her virginity where clearly she is not surprised by the “mere act” . However, thankfully this is the not the focal point of the novel.
When I read the novel 10 years, I was however looking for this point, her sexual misadventures leading to a perfect man in the end. This was not a romantic novel. This is a tour inside Esther’s mind, where she plummets to depression and heavy suicidal tendencies.
I finished the book 10 years back, forgot the ending and moved on. 10 Years later, I picked it up again for #femmemarch because no lists of literature will ever be complete without Sylvia Plath. How right I was (for a change)! This time I took notes, highlighted, searched for meaning & I was so much soaked into it that I was moving into my personal blue zone. Esther arrives home, shedding her new York self only to find out that she is not selected for the writing course. Esther decides then to be a novelist, but her self-doubt about her less experiences in life stops her from writing a novel. Her life slowly crumbles down from a height to a zero centre, where she has reduced herself to nothing. An initial shock therapy treatment pushes further into deep, dark recesses of depression The novel is written a stark, honest way.
There are no embellishment of any words, no beautification app to glorify depression, it’s just the way it is. In an era where Mental illness was considered taboo, Sylvia Plath walks out of that cocoon to write a semi-autographical about herself. Its sad too, that mental illness is like a self destructing time bomb. It goes on building up the tension, an inward blank feeling where you don’t feel anything else, where you slowly lose yourself, go to a dark brooding place. Sylvia writes it all & breathes life into Esther Greenwood.
After one incident where Esther tries to take her life, her mother gets her admitted to a therapy hospital. She moves over here from a stage to a stage. From light to dark to light and back to darkness again of her mind, of her own closed world. She meets her friend Joan at the therapy center, where they spend some time together.
At the end, where Esther has recovered, she has a doubt what if depression swoops down again. What if she can never get out of the dark place. What if this is a temporary respite and her ultimate resting place is being trapped in her mind forever, in a bell jar. As a parting afterthought, I believe Esther Greenwood &Renata Adler’s protagonist in novel “Speedboat” would’ve been good friends.
This novel only should be read again after regular intervals, because it will hold different meaning at different stages in our lives. And this I believe is true for all books. We are all trapped in our personalized bell jars and we all strive to come out of it.
Excerpts from "The Bell Jar"
“If you love her,” I said, “you’ll love somebody else someday."
“I don’t see what women see in other women,” I told
Doctor Nolan in my
interview that noon. “What does a woman see in a woman
that she can’t see in a
man?”
Doctor Nolan paused. Then she said, “Tenderness.” That shut me up"
“Nothing,” Buddy said in a pale, still voice.
“Neurotic, ha!” I let out a scornful laugh. “If
neurotic is wanting two
mutually exclusive things at one and the same time,
then I’m neurotic as hell. I’ll
be flying back and forth between one mutually
exclusive thing and another for
the rest of my days.”
Buddy put his hand on mine.
“Let me fly with you.”
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